When I Return
by MissBlinou
Summary: *Season 4 Spoilers* Leaving Clarke behind was the hardest thing Bellamy can remember doing and the guilt has engulfed him over the months he has been in the Ark. But everything changes in an instant when her voice is all he hears through the comm speakers. Filled with a new hope, Bellamy and Clarke spend the next six years apart, but still always together.


_Hey everyone, this is just a little oneshot I wanted to write up after seeing the ending of season 4. I still don't know how I feel about the way the season ended but this really helped me get a feel for the direction they may have been going. Let me know if you like it!_

* * *

-Six months after Praimfaya-

A loud sigh permeates the silence of the Communications room. Bellamy finally averts his eyes from the barren planet before him to glance over at Murphy who is lazing across both a chair and table in front of the Comms board. With a not-so-subtle eye roll, Murphy rises from his chair begins walking towards Bellamy. Placing a firm hand on his shoulder, Murphy looks out the same window Bellamy once did and addresses him again for what feels like the hundredth time.

"Nothing's different, Bellamy. You have to stop beating yourself up over what happened."

Bellamy offers no reply but continues to look sorrowfully out over the expanse of space and Earth, a longing in his eyes for that once lush planet.

"Seriously. Clarke would have wanted you to get over it and Raven won't leave me alone about how you've been acting lately. She thinks you're losing it, and honestly, I can't blame her with how much time you spend in here."

"You can tell Raven I'm fine. You _both_ are overreacting…" Bellamy trails off at the abrupt sound of static coming from the nearby comms system speakers.

Ever since Raven and Monty fixed the communications board on the Ark several months ago, the system has been eerily quiet. All attempts at raising any other signals came up short including an attempt to lock on to the First Dawn Bunker's radio waves. Even so, a rotation exists for monitoring the comms room for any possible incoming frequencies.

The blaring static was completely new to them.

Murphy quickly runs up to the board leaving behind a bewildered Bellamy. "Is anyone there?" Murphy calls out through the radio microphone. "This is New Ark, can anyone read?" He tries again.

The static continues without reply as Murphy attempts to call for anyone who may hear. After ten minutes of repetition, Murphy finally gives up, tossing the radio microphone on the table in fustration. "Well that was helpful… I'm going to go let Raven know about the static, so keep an ear out for anything weird while I'm gone." Murphy said as he walked out the rear door.

The disappointment burned deep in Bellamy's gut at the hope of communication with his sister. He remembers the numerous times he called out to Octavia through a silent channel hoping that anything would get through. He eventually gave up trying, assuming the lack of communication had more to do with things neither of them could fix.

The static blared on in the background of his thoughts as he returned his gaze to the window to study the Earth's barren and bland surface. Only months before had the Earth been nothing more than a great red ball of destruction and abandon, lighting the Ark with tones of red and yellow. Now, the planet looked dreary and brown, void of the wilderness and greens Bellamy remembers from the dropship's first landing.

Memories of Clarke came upon him in that instant, reminding him of her place at his side throughout everything they had gone through the year before they left. Their combined leadership helped the 100 delinquents, and later the rest of the Skaikru, through all the trials the Earth had thrown at them…and in hindsight, he couldn't imagine going through it without her. Those thoughts only made it hurt that much more when he thought of how they parted.

Clarke made the ultimate sacrifice to make sure everyone else could live and Bellamy still felt overwhelming guilt at leaving her behind. Logic reminds him that they would have all died had they not left when they did, but his heart is often devoid of logic when he thinks of her.

Just as his thoughts drift, reminding him of how late it was, the steady static began fading in and out into something so unbelievable it shocked Bellamy into place.

"…llamy?…..Bella…..its's Clar…" His shock kept him still as her voice rang through the comms speakers, "It worke….The nightbl…orked."

It took Bellamy seconds to reach the comms board and radio a reply. "Clarke!? It's Bellamy, do you read!?" seconds passed before Clarke continued on, oblivious to his calls.

"If you…can hea…..me, if you ar….even aliv….."

"Clarke! I'm here, I'm alive! _Please_ tell me you can hear me!?" His voice cracked at the emotion of hearing her once again and the radios failure to send his messages back. Her next words were clearer, as if the signal was gaining strength.

"I won't give up hope on you….nd everyone up in space. I know you're up there and I'm hoping you can hear me. It's been rough down here these past few months but I won't stop tryin…..to contact you and the bunker…"

Another noise from down the hall jerked Bellamy out of his stupor and away from the comms board. Raven and Monty rushed in followed by Murphy and the others. They heard part of Clarke's transmission and looked to Bellamy with confusion and hope. Raven was the first to speak up.

"Is that Clarke?" Her incredulous tone matched her face, which seemed caught between happiness and utter disbelief.

Bellamy could barely muster a quick, "…yea." before Raven was at the board trying it for herself.

"Clarke!? Come in!" She nearly yelled, but no response came forth. Clarke seemed to be done with her transmission and unable to hear their replies. Raven's hand slammed down on the board as she shouted, "Dammit! I thought I fixed this thing!"

Monty tentatively stepped forward, eyeing the comms board in thought. "Let's take a look at it again, Raven. Maybe we missed something."

"That's possible. It's not like we had any way to test outgoing transmissions over the past few months anyway." Raven replied. The anger was virtually gone from her demeanor, replaced with a fire that oftentimes led to her working on something new for hours on end.

However, before they began troubleshooting the comms system, Raven turned to Bellamy with a different look, one of empathy. "What did she say?"

"The nightblood worked. She survived, but I guess you figured that out already…" Bellamy replied.

Instead of dwelling on that thought she spared Bellamy one last glance before motioning Monty to the board. Together they began removing the access panel and going over the innards of the machine.

Turning away from them, Bellamy walked up to the window yet again, only this time he felt less guilt and much more hope.

* * *

"Hey Bellamy. It's been eight months now and still nothing from you guys. I hope the stale recycled air is doing you well." her light giggle could be heard in the background, "I was able to finish the boat today which was really just pure luck. Becca really thought of everything when stocking her lab. This is good news because by my guess I have about four more months of food left here. I'm planning to pack today and cross tomorrow to the mainland. Wish me luck, because from what I have seen, there may not be anything left to find over there."

Bellamy sighs lowly while glancing down at the broken microphone. It doesn't actually work, even with the collective minds of Raven and Monty working at it, but he still picks it up, pressing the button to begin the transmission.

"Good luck, Princess…"

* * *

"Bellamy, I did it. I finally made it to Polis." Clarke's sorrowful tone worried Bellamy instantly and he moved even closer to the speakers.

"I tried… I really did. The bunker is beneath mountains of debris from the buildings it was surrounded with. I tried to move some of the rubble but I barely made a dent. So much of it is too large for me to move and I just don't know how they will get out of there even after the five years have passed. I tried contacting them with the radio too, but that didn't work either. It seems like their radio equipment was external and likely destroyed with everything else aboveground."

Bellamy deflated at that. He was hoping the reason he couldn't radio his sister was due to the same problems that kept him from replying to Clarke. But it seems their fate will be unknown until they are able to open the doors, which seems impossible from Clarke's perspective.

"I'm sure they are alive down there, though. Octavia isn't one to go down easily, you know that. I bet she is kicking all their asses into gear as we speak…" She trailed off momentarily but her voice returned again seconds later, "I think I will start traveling in search of a livable area soon because everything I have seen so far is pretty void of life."

"…Sometimes I really wonder if I was meant to survive that death wave in the first place…"

* * *

"Bellamy, you still listening? You better be because I have some exciting news!" Bellamy perks up at her tone, a goofy smile coming over his features as he listens on to Clarke's voice through the speakers. Behind him Murphy fakes like he isn't listening but Bellamy knows he has been keeping up with Clarke's transmissions both live and recorded like everyone else on the ship. She continues, elated at her news.

"I found another person down here! I didn't think anyone else could have survived but she must be a nightblood. You won't believe it, but it's a kid! She looks to be about eight or nine but I haven't been able to actually talk to her. She is holed up in a fallen structure and won't come out. I spent all day trying to lure her out and I think I'm making progress. But anyway, it's late so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight Bellamy."

The transmission cut out and both men shared a look of surprise. Murphy was the first to speak.

"Wow. Another human survived on that hellhole of a planet. I'm honestly surprised."

"The nightblood is much more powerful than we ever thought it could be. But I think this is a good thing for Clarke. She has been really lonely this past year. I think having someone with her will do some real good." Bellamy replied, glancing back out the window at the Earth.

"That's if the kid isn't a nutjob. Though I'm sure Clarke can handle herself." Murphy sighed, "Well I'm heading over to the dining area. Nothing like algae to get you through the day…" His sarcasm made Bellamy laugh considering their food situation has been pretty abysmal since the rations ran out and the algae farm officially became their new source.

Before heading out the door he turned to Bellamy, "You comin'?"

"…Yep, can't wait for dinner!" The both chuckled as they walked away.

* * *

"Just relax Bellamy, she is rarely late, give her a break." Raven calls from her perch near the window.

Bellamy has religiously listened live to each of Clarkes transmissions over the past five months since her first one. Honestly, there wasn't much else to do on the Ark anyway, but he felt a physical pull to the room around Clarke's usual afternoon transmissions. She has been fairly punctual ever since she started but today it's been hours since her usual time and Bellamy was getting more and more anxious.

Before long, the telltale sound of Clarke's portable radio setup came through the speakers as a loud static.

"Hey Bellamy. Today was an incredibly long day, but I think it was worth it in the end. Me and Madi have been looking for any life leftover on this planet for over a month now with no luck. But I think we may have found something. There is a mountain in the distance and either my eyes are deceiving me or I see some green on its horizon. We are changing course to head there tomorrow. I'm really hoping that this isn't all just a figment of my imagination because I'm starting to worry about the stress on our food supplies. Madi was on her last legs when I found her a month ago and there was only so much leftover from Becca's lab. I just want to find something worthwhile for her because good news has been hard to come by lately."

Raven looked at Bellamy again before moving towards him to pat him on the shoulder. "Don't worry Bellamy. They are fighters. If they can survive the death wave, they can make it through the next four years."

He looked up at her and seemed moderately relieved. "Yea, I guess you're right. Here's hoping she isn't just seeing things over that mountain. We believed a mountain could save us before, remember."

"Oh I remember…"

* * *

"You will _not_ believe this Bellamy! I wasn't crazy! We finally made it over the peak of the mountain and there is a valley of life down here!" In the background Bellamy could hear the distinct melody of Madi's giggles at Clarke's enthusiasm.

"It looks just like the forests from Trikru territory and it's HUGE. I really just wish you could see it, Bellamy. You would love it."

Bellamy smiled at that, knowing full well how right she was.

"We only really stopped for a moment to catch our breaths after the hike up the mountain today but it's all downhill from here and I'm planning to find something we can eat in all this greenery. But maybe we will stay away from any strange looking nuts for our own safety." She laughed and it was music to his ears.

* * *

"Hi Bellamy…" low muttering can be heard in the background before Clarke's voice returns, "Ah, Madi says hi too. It's been almost two years now since you left, though it has felt like much longer. We have made a decent life for ourselves down here with everything we have scavenged and the forest we found. It gets a little lonely at times but that's why I have Madi." A small lighthearted complaint from Madi could be heard in the background.

"I won't stop trying to contact you and the bunker, so I guess all that's left to do is wait…It's going to be a long three years." Clarke's transmission ended soon after and it left Bellamy with thoughts of the next few years and how they would play out for both everyone on the Ark as well as Clarke and Madi on Earth.

The Ark has already faced a myriad of trials within the past two years and between Raven's obsessive toiling over the systems that keep everyone alive and the constant issues that have come up within the crew since day one, the only constant has been everyone's interest in the daily life of Clarke. Before long even Echo and Emori couldn't help but listen to the recordings she left every day to pass the time.

Three years would be a long and tough road for everyone, but for Bellamy it felt impossible. His desire to be back on the Earth was only further fueled by Clarke's daily ramblings and he counted the days until it was likely possible for them to make a return trip. Those few minutes each day kept him going in his darkest hours and would hopefully help him through the next few years until their eventual reunion.

"Yep… All that's left to do is wait." He echoes.

* * *

"Bellamy, if you can hear me…if you're alive, it's been 2199 days since Praimfaya. I don't know why I still _do_ this everyday. Maybe it's my way of staying sane. Not forgetting who I am…who I was." Clarke paused and a soft sigh could be heard through the speaker.

"It's been safe for you to come down for over a year now…Why haven't you? The bunker's gone silent too. We tried digging them out for a while but...there was too much rubble. I haven't made contact with them either."

Bellamy stared down at the ground from within the comms room again, feeling the pain of his inability to reach her. It feels like a dance he can't avoid and his guilt radiates from him. But before his thoughts can turn any darker, Clarke continues.

"Anyway, I still have hope. Tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green and you'll find me. The rest of the planet from what I've seen basically sucks. So…." She pauses again but this time he can hear her gasp.

"Nevermind…I see you."

"What?" Bellamy stands and turns to the speakers with an incredulous look. "Shit."

Without hesitation he runs out of the room and down the corridor. His lungs burn by the time he reaches the workshop Raven has created out of a maintenance bay and she eyes him as he catches his breath.

"Bellamy? Was there a marathon I forgot about?" She says as she begins pulling off her work gloves.

"It's Clarke…Raven, she thinks we are landing…Right now!" He says between breaths.

"That's not possible. We are obviously here?"

"I don't know! It just happened at the end of her transmission. She was saying the usual about where to find her when we can go down and then she said she saw us. Something or…someone landed down there and she thinks it's us."

Raven looks around her, seemingly trying to think of something, "Dammit…I don't have any way to see down there and I'm still working on fixing the launch systems for the rocket. Ugh, think Raven, _THINK!"_ She slams her hand on the table in frustration while Bellamy walks over to the window in the back of the room.

In the distance is the Earth, no better looking than it was two or four years ago. But somewhere down there was Clarke, and she was encountering something that no one had expected. He didn't bother to think of who it was that landed in spite of himself. Rather, his thoughts lingered on Clarke as it always had over the past six years. Their inability to properly prep the rocket to launch back to Earth safely has made the past year unbearable for him, but a new surge of willpower overcame him with this new information.

He would find a way back to Clarke if it was the last thing he ever did and all he could do was trust in her to stay alive and away from danger until then. Considering she managed to survive hell and back over the past six years, he had little doubt in her abilities.

"Soon, Clarke. We _WILL_ meet again. Just stay alive a little longer." Raven eyes him from her newfound perch amongst the pile of scrap, meticulously looking for something. Bellamy returns his gaze to the window and loses himself in his thoughts. Before walking away to help Raven in her quest, his final thoughts resonate with his emotions and strengthens his resolve.

' _I promise, Clarke. I won't leave you again…and I won't let anything go unsaid. Never again.'_


End file.
